The Critic
The CriticA challenging skit for worship, which seeks to question the values of large-budget secular entertainment.
A, B, C and D can each be of either sex, with suitable modifications to the gender of the pronouns if C is male. If the gender ratio is 3:1 it is best if C is one of the 3, and D is the 1. If 2:2 C and D should be opposites with a vague suggestion of romantic interest.
A round table with four chairs, cafe style, slightly open to the congregation for sight lines. Lighting is optional.
All four are seated around the table. The conversation rises as the lights come slowly up.
Note that dialogue between A, B and D is overlapped. When C speaks there is otherwise silence, however when the other three start as soon as one has conveyed the general sense of the utterance the next begins, overlapping the last syllable or two. A's last speech is the exception as there is nothing to follow.
A: ...(and why) yes, it had overtones on so many levels...
B: We've finally come to terms with an honest approach to the everyday vices which we all have in our hearts...
D: Sometimes it's uncomfortable to do that, but so refreshing when one can...
C: It was a sad, cheap, dirty story.
Pause.
A: Yes, exactly, which ties in with what you (to B) were saying about this new artistic freedom...
B: Which is so valuable because it enables us to explore and (to C) where appropriate confirm and understand the limits we all quite legitimately set on what we are prepared...
D: (to nobody in particular) Is it all ever so simple though...
C: (also to nobody in particular) There are so many good writers and actors, why do we waste so much time on such rubbish?
Another, shorter, pause.
A: Yes, what is also really good is the accountability of art, artists are being called on to give value, to communicate but more, to share their very beings...
D: To the point where we all fell a little assaulted perhaps, and the performers most of all...
B: And while I agree this lacked authenticity, even in that there is a point being made...
D: Why I wonder does it sell so well...
C: All I can make of it is that we were seeing someone's sad fantasy of how they would like to behave if they had the chance and the courage. And fortunately that's not likely, it was neither realistic nor terribly entertaining except for the shock value. Unless it's self-fulfilling - horrible thought, sometimes these things are. (Glances at watch). I must be going soon. (to D) Can I pay for both of us in exchange for a lift? (He nods) Marvellous.
Exit C. D stands.
A: It's ages since I indulged in such a wholesome, stimulating analysis of a film, it really...
B: I was talking about live theatre!
D: Wasn't it a telemovie?
The longest pause yet. All look after C, but she is gone.
A: She knows what she's about, anyway. Wonder who she listens to?
End.
This was written during a particularly large promotion for a steamy and expensive telemovie. It works best when there is something of that sort in the news.
It has an obvious debt to the story of the Emperor's New Clothes, and seeks to inspire the church to do what the small boy did in that story. Also, to first examine our own hearts to be sure that we are not ourselves swallowing the bait.
The four actors need to be confident and well matched. The script is intended to be "hammed", and can be very funny, but this depends largely on the actors. So long as C's lines are clearly heard, the funnier the better.